By Alex Large, Dartmouth Housemaster, Head of Boarding, The Royal School Wolverhampton
After a visit from the principal, his leaving remarks were: “About time the sign on your door was updated, Alex.” When I took on my current role, I was incredibly proud and remember moving into the boarding accommodation and noticing the sign on the door to my new flat – it read ‘housemaster’ and must have been up since the house was built in the mid-90’s. And that’s what I thought my role would be – a housemaster. So when it came to choosing the new sign for the door, which would include my name as well, it should have been a straightforward process – except it wasn’t.
I was always keen to get in to boarding for a variety of reasons (that’s another blog in itself) and was incredibly excited when my school advertised for an assistant houseparent in the boys junior house. At the time I thought the name of the role was interesting – having attended a boarding school myself I was used to the terms housemaster and housemistress. At the time I simply assumed that houseparent was an all encompassing term for any gender. There was also thread on Linkedin recently similarly talking about advertising for the role of houseparent and there were ongoing discussions about whether this is the correct term to use in terms of not simply professional identity but gender identity. It was not until I read John Rae’s ‘Delusion of Grandeur’ that it finally clicked there was distinct difference between the definitions of housemaster (traditionally those that taught as well as looked after the house) and houseparent (a non-teaching role). And so, when it came to creating my first email signature for my new role in boarding I took delight in seeing ‘assistant housemaster’ under my name.
I am in my ninth year of teaching mathematics and have taught everything from bottom set Year 7 to further maths in Year 13. When I started, I thought that was it, I had discovered my identity – I was Alex Large, maths teacher. I was determined to be the best and make a name for myself in that regard. However, it turned out that while I enjoyed what I did, I found myself looking for new challenge, what about pastoral care?
I fell in love with boarding from my very first shift. I watched The Blind Side with a group of boys in the common room and just thought – this is brilliant. Watching them interact with each other, forging lifelong friendships and sometimes just acting like the teenagers they were. They made mistakes (as we all do) and I relished the challenge of supporting them to make better decisions going forward. This was it I was an assistant housemaster and I couldn’t wait to run my own house one day. I was fortunate that this opportunity came up in the same school, sooner rather than later. I applied and got the role. I had my own house to run – much like the title of Jill Murphy’s book, Mr Large was in charge! I deleted the word assistant from my email signature and was ready for action – I was a housemaster.
If I was given the opportunity at that point nearly two years ago to change the sign on my door I would have had no hesitation for it to read ‘Mr A Large – Housemaster’, but I am thankful now that I didn’t get round to changing it straight away. My view of the role and what it really means has changed drastically since taking over the house. My house is unique in that we not only have looked after children but also unaccompanied asylum-seeking children. I thought I knew what the role entailed from my own experience during my schooling and all those who work in boarding will no doubt know about the many hats that we wear on any given day. Given that, there were still things that I have to do now that I never envisioned would be part of my role including going shopping for clothing and toiletries, then stopping off to treat someone to their first ever McDonald’s. I was in effect dad to these boys; it was then I realised that I pretty much was. I have even been known to defend my ‘sons’ to the bitter end in disciplinary meetings in front of the principal much like a real parent would!
One of my proudest moments in my role was during an inspection last year. For six months since taking over the house I was determined to shift the culture of the house to create a family-orientated environment. I took great pride then when one of the inspectors said that the two key terms that keep coming up again and again were ‘family’ and ‘community’. And while some of this culture needed to be harvested organically, I had really pushed these themes throughout my time to try and create this idea of a family environment in the boys’ home away from home. Of course my efforts were helped thanks to my wife who took on the role of matron – or ‘house mum’ and my two-year old son who likes to be involved in everything the boys do. I had shifted the culture from a testosterone-filled house to one where boys were greeted everyday with a biscuit and squash by Mrs Large and a ‘fist-bump’ from Harry. We had become one big family and I knew I had found my professional identity.
In a world where wording and identity are so important, I think that we are in the perfect place to start questioning some traditions and to take ownership of our professional boarding responsibilities separate from any teaching role. I am in no way proposing that we simply dismiss the terms housemaster and housemistress as they are both defined job roles, but I would encourage anyone who works in boarding to recognise that those two roles encompass two distinct identities, namely houseparent and subject teacher. I believe that now is the time that all housemasters and housemistresses should take the opportunity to think deeper about what the terms actually mean in today’s technology-based frenetic world.
It will come to you as no surprise for you to know that I did make a decision on my door sign and I can tell you it reads ‘Mr & Mrs Large – Houseparents’. My wife and I are proud houseparents. What about you?
Categories: Sector News
